04 Jan Why doing what you WANT is the key to happiness
How’s 2018 going for you so far?
Not sure about you but rather than deprivation or guilt based resolutions or an attitude of ‘you can do it all’, I feel like in 2018 it’s time to really hone into what we genuinely WANT and then go ahead and do just that!
Ditch the guilt and the shoulds and the ‘do it all’ aspirations and do what you want – so simple right?
Because underneath all the goals & resolutions, we all want happiness right?
Here’s the replay of my 5 minute interview on Breakfast TV where I elaborate on this concept.
Each year instead of a resolution I have a ‘theme’ (2017 was ‘do less, be more’ and I did ok *not great* with that). Relaxing is not my natural default setting lol!
2018 for me is all about helping others (and myself) do ‘do what you want’.
Let this be the year that you give yourself permission to do what you want (instead of aiming to please others or just doing what we’ve always done…).
Here are some of the ‘themes’ that I’ve had (instead of resolutions) in my eclectic life. I’ve had the year of:
- Multisport (I did the Southern Traverse with 3 friends from Outward Bound)
- Musical (I was a cast member in Copa Cabana)
- Having a baby (I did that one a few times)
- Writing my book (this turned into 5 years)
You get the gist… and more recently in 2017 my theme/focus was ‘Do Less, Be More’. How did I go with that?
Pretty ok but not great.
Relaxed and present is something I aspire to but definitely not my natural setting.
I’m more of a fired-up and ready-to-rock type setting.
But having that theme kept me coming back to it and kept me questioning and tweaking how I could do things differently.
From a personal stand point I did (a bit) less rushing, and more calm activities like pilates.
From a business stand point I added more leverage by adding some Go to Girl online courses (including one aptly titled Do Less, Be More) and promoted other amazing affiliate products, programs and services offered by other entrepreneurs in my Recommendations Directory.
So what is 2018 all about for you? What is your theme or focus for the year? I love starting from this point (rather than resolutions which are often based around deprivation or guilt – neither of which lead to the path of happiness).
Once you have your theme/focus you can then chunk that into mini goals and ‘action steps’ or use opportunities and decisions that arise as a sounding board to check that they’re in line with what you’ve identified as your goal/theme. Make sense?
My focus for 2018 (as well as the-connecting w old friends) is helping people to “do what you want” 🎉
Yep! So many people are in jobs, relationships, commitments etc bc they think they ‘should’ or said they ‘would’ or maybe they’ve just lost touch w what they truly want bc they have put others’ needs at the forefront for far too long… not anymore!
I CHALLENGE you in 2018 to do what you want (and empower others to do the same). I truly believe that doing what you WANT is the key to happiness. Let me clarify & break it down for you.
Whether it be a small ‘micro moment’ (like going to your pilates class because you genuinely WANT to) or a big decision (like saying YES to one job opportunity and no to another) it’s crucial that you re-connect to what you truly desire and genuinely WANT to do rather than what is the next natural step or something you’ve invested time in already so you ‘should’ do it.
So with your business, take another look at your ‘services’ and make sure you’re only offering things that you genuinely want to do. Look at your to-do-list and see what you can ditch or delegate so that again you’re staying in that ‘zone of love’ and only doing things that bring you joy!
Once you get into the swing of #doingwhatyouwant, you realise how often you previously just did what was expected or what pleased others rather than tapping into or taking a moment to notice what it was that YOU actually wanted. And speaking from experience (the first few years of motherhood for me) putting yourself last and then feeling bitter & resentful about it is totally not a recipe for happiness.
Neither is blatantly doing what you want at the expense of others but I truly feel that if everyone connected (in the micro and massive moments in their life) with what they truly want to do and then moved towards that… the world would not only be a happier but a much better place. Thoughts?
And now I’m really making an effort to install this ‘do what you want’ thing into my kids via day-to-day parenting. *Although admittedly there are times when they need to go with what the family wants but in those decision moments I like to empower them.
Opportunities for “life lessons” are everywhere lol 🌺 Yesterday we went kayaking and our boys jumped off the jetty. Miss 11 didn’t want to so she stayed dry, walking the dog etc. (side note I’m a massive advocate for empowering our kids and people in general to hone into what they want to do and do it *or not as the case may be out of empowered choice not from a place of pressure or guilt).
The next day she’s all “I want to jump off the jetty” and she initially tried to pressure Mr 6 into joining her – but I quickly reminded her that Xavier wanted to (and did) yesterday and it was his choice if he wanted to today… Long story long, she did it, loved it and everyone was happy. Q. 🎤 What are your thoughts on empowered decision making for kids? More on parenting & kids on my blog & podcast If Only They’d Told Me.
So what do I ‘want’ in 2018?
- To visit my sister in the USA and my friends in Canada (I haven’t been there since 2002!!)
- To reach the rank of Diamond in DoTerra essential oils so that I can live with more abundance and have more impact on the health and wellness of others and some pretty crucial causes that I believe in. (teenage suicide, childhood poverty…)
- To get a hot tub!
- To go on a 3 day get-away with my darling Matt
- To speak on stages, tv /online once a month
- To grow my businesses so that I can donate $1K+ to charity each month
Then there’s my ‘chunky goals’ that relate to the IMPACT I want to have:
- 1) Save a million marriages and
- 2) Half the suicide rate in New Zealand
What are some of your WANTS and what is your focus, theme or mantra for 2018?
What are your thoughts on this whole #dowhatyouwant thing?
Let us know in a comment below!
If you WANT to do more speaking then grab my free Speaker Success checklist to help you do that!
But what if you don’t know what you want? I like the phrase ‘follow the fire’ This means, think about what gets you really excited or really frustrated… THAT is your path! That’s where your energy and focus will make a massive difference if channelled in that direction.
I elaborate on that and more in this #heartspeakfacebooklive with my fab friend Amanda Betts from Bridge the Gap project.